One big Challange

I had a few lovely days away In Melbourne to see our Son, Ben, but it was one big challenge, first of all I had the effort of walking each day, which was a lot of walking and the second was my daughter was on my back about my weight, Health and that I had no confidence left….

I didn’t need to hear this, besides all this I was in terrible pain in my knee, which is not still giving me grief and I am unable to have a operation on it as for the age I am a Diabetic, so what is to be done is still unresolved, so I am suffering each day in pain.

In this pain I am trying to offer up all the sadness which has been down against the lord and his Mother, the evil in the world and the challenges which a lot of Priests have to face today/.and are struggling.

my suffering is nothing compared to some people, but I struggle with my spiritual side my weight and my depression and I just have to take one day at a time at the moment because I am not able to see beyond tomorrow. so Lord please carry me though this dark Time

I would appreciate all the prayers I can get thank you

Wonderful few days away

Stillness in the night

As I sit on the sit on the side of the bed in the dark, I examined my day in which I think about how it have failed again, how I again have let God down.
I say a Hail Mary and a our Father asking for his forgiveness
I promise I will try to do better tomorrow
The silence us perfect, so I close my eyes and go to a place in a Garden with the Lord ,
and quietly sit there with him and talk
I pray you all alleged peacefully in the love of God 🌷

wondering Why?

I had a shocking day yesterday, to say the least, I couldn’t get out of the dark hole, despite how I was feeling it made me feel even worse I couldn’t go to church, I was angry sad, and just empty, the darkness took me into the night and I was talking to a friend on face Book and she said hold on to Mary on to the Rosary Beads, our Lady will be their for you, well she was right,

The feeling of despair, of wanting to end it, and I knew it was not going to last but in that one dark hole, I seem to feel worthless and unwanted….where is God in this I thought To my self, Why is he letting me be in this Hole?

\I yelled out GOD WHERE ARE YOU? CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW I AM FEELING ! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ?
tHIS MORNING I WOKE UP, FFELING A LITTLE BETTER, But made my self get up and dressed and go and meet a friend for coffee, the usual ladies were their who I meet each few days, and one started on bagging God saying their was no God no Heaven and no Hell, I just sat their and listened, I thought to my self should I say something, or just keep quite, so I didn’t say a word, I just sat with no whisper of a word from me, she got the hint to keep quite them she knew. I felt this was a test from the Evil one to so I knew by being silent I would do more better

Why do People go on like this? I know there is a God and he is a very loving God, despite me feeling like this I know he is walking beside me

 

St John of the Cross

In tribulation immediately draw near to God with confidence, and you will receive strength, enlightenment, and instruction.”

St. John of the Cross quote

Trying to seek God

Last night I decided to go to Mass this morning, but when I woke up this morning I was in constant pain, pain right through my body,so the sadness I can not make Mass, a cross which I bear a lot , tomorrow being Sunday pleases God I will make Mass and in saying this, that David will come with me!
I feel I am struggling with a few issues one being, not been constant with Our Lord, not praying enough, not praying the Rosary, feeling so isolated from people in church.

This pain I am in is beyond my body pain it’s a big Spiritual pain, it’s a longing door God, yet struggling with Human relationships ,if I could just dismiss these and just move in to the Silence with Our Lord , human relationships are to difficult, they stop me getting closer to God.
I need to have a different direction in my life, trying to stay quit with God.

Please pray for me

Seeking God

Last night befor I went to bed I had made up my mind that today I would make my mine up to go to mass this morning,

Pondering

I was pondering on my life today, Sitting in the sun with the warmth of the sun on my back, thinking of how I am a lost soul, well it got me thinking, I don’t really Think  I am a lost soul,!!

The other day I attended a good friends Funeral, while I was sitting in the church praying, it came across me that God does really love me and I don’t really think I am a lost soul, just have been going through the darkness of a soul, at the  same time I thought as I was walking up to Holy Communion, How blessed am I to have my faith, and to have a freedom of been able to express my self to the Lord, and How lucky I am not to be in that part of the world where people are being murdered for their faith, ( Lord please Keep Australia safe) we must pray for those in need at this sad time/

Having God in our Life is a wonderful thing, to know how much he cares for us and wants only the best for us, and is also sad when we are sad and happy when we are happy

I am feeling very blessed,. and so in my struggles I will continue to keep going, and know God is on the Journey with me also

Take one day at a time and know your Loved , By a very Generous God

 

 

Finding peace

Today in my prayers I was pondering on finding peace in my life, to be disconnected from people who upset me and are not positive, one is a friend, who is not a friend any more, who is trying to damage a friendship I have with a good Priest, when I approached her in what she said. she fully denied it and said she didn’t know what I was talking about,! A Spiritual friendship is not wrong, to be advised on spiritual matters, where to some people get off in saying nasty things and taking them back to this person,

Praying about it and trying to find peace In it all is very distracting, even when I wake up at night around 3am in the morning, struggling with these shocking thoughts, and feelings.

So I have come to the conclusion I have to move away from this person, and pray for her, and pray for this Priest friend, and be in Silence, maybe one day God will give me some sign I am doing the right thing,

It all causes turmoil  in all areas, and a disturbance in the soul, it reminds me a little of Mary MacKillop in her struggles with her spiritual Director, But Mary continue to Trust in the Lord and be silence and wouldn’t speak ill of any Priest or Bishop, even thought they did wrong by her,

May Mary Mackillop give me the grace to walk her path and learn to be Silent and trust in the Good lord,…

 

Let Nothing Disturbe you

“Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.”
― Teresa of Ávila

AS I read this this morning I realised I have to leave every thing in Gods hands once again, AS THE LAST few days have been very disturbing, and being accused of lying was not good, some times we need to let people go, who boss you and accuse you of things that you didn’t do. I wont go into what happened, but I feel now after praying, God does want me to move on, to let go of this person and move on, to have peace in my soul, to be at peace, and trust him.

When I was praying for guidance this morning to the Lord, I realised, this is about the forth time I have been in this situation before and it wasn’t resolved and its not going to be resolved, I need peace, peace in my soul, so walking away is the only way I am going to feel peace, to not go any where with this person for how she has treated me. I will pray for her but wont be part of her life any more.

Sometimes People are dressed in wolfs clothing,, in say this we must pray for guidance in all relationships, for our inner peace and pray to God and knowing he will me in all.

May all have a Blessed Weekend
Joanne